Don't Worry Mum

Just got off the phone with my mum a bit ago. She was asking when I was going to have my PICC line pulled. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a peripherally installed catheter that goes from your arm into the main valve near your heart to administer IV medication. I had it put in about 3 weeks ago. Small procedure at the hospital. Anyway, I had a bad cold virus that went right to my lungs, and in about 2 weeks caused a bacterial infection. I was SO sick. Felt like the flu, but not. So now, after almost 3 weeks of two types of IV drugs administered by myself at home, three times a day ~ I am feeling MUCH better. So she continues to tell me how bad she feels that I have to go through all this. Somehow she feels a sense of "guilt" or selfishness for having bore me. The doctors told her there was a 1 in 4 chance that I could have CF. I told her that I don't feel that way. Sure I feel like crap sometimes, but I am doing better now. This is just what I have to deal with. In an odd way, it has made me who I am today! A survivor. Then I told her the story about my friend Sharon's friend. She found out several years ago that she carried the breast cancer DNA gene, after both her sister and mother had lost their breasts to cancer. So when it came her turn to find a lump, she elected to have a double mastectomy as well. Now, years later, she put off her yearly OBGYN exam because of lack of insurance. Once the insurance situation was rectified, she went in for her pap smear, only to find that she had ovarian cancer. Once they did surgery, they found that the cancer had spread to 2 parts of her bowel. The bowel had to be re-sected in those 2 areas. She is looking at a battle ahead, with 6 months of Chemo! So we each have to count our blessings! It could be worse. Of course, it could be better too. But we don't have a choice on what we are dealt in the card game of life. We can only play the hand the best we can. Remembering that IF we bluff, we might win or loose.  Or, we can play it safe. We each have the choice of deciding our style for playing the game.

Me? I play it somewhere in the middle.